Holidays Week 1 (June 2011)

Wheeee~ it's holidaysss!! :] But i have been very busy...finishing up my online course..been going out a bit - karaoke, birthdays, meet-ups.
I'm the type of person that if i don't keep busy..i feel like like is pointless.

Recently re-decorated my room, going for the simple but beautiful design  :) the sunlight concept.
Very pretty now...i must remind myself that there is always sth to live for. I cannot give up too easily, many things i don't want to face, but i have to push myself to. 

Sometimes in winter, people would want another half to share their memories with. I hope every1 can find their other half..."love doesn't have to be perfect, but it is has to be true".
I only just found out..because dad's heart has been sick...that grandpa had problems with his heart too. Maybe the "weak heart" is passed down the family. I hope dad can get better soon, that our hearts can be stronger. No matter how weak my heart is, i want to keep living until it stops beating.

Exam Week 2

Back to the drawing board - job seeking. I think i had a pretty good week, until i got a call that i was "unsuccessful" for the job. Maybe because i had high hopes, maybe cause i really wanted to get it. Maybe cause after searching for half a yr...you found sth which you might have a chance. It really tears down your mood...but what can u do? Keep searching i guess....i don't want to give up...and i won't!!

Also had an exam this week..comp programming...and what can i say, at least i attempted everything?
Family has been having health issues lately...dad...mum....me...last week for my birthday, i wished every1 can be healthy, i hope we can be blessed and everyone stays healthy. I didn't realise how important people around you are and what it will be like without them gone.

It's funny...why am i feeling like this after hearing that i didn't get the job...? My head keeps thinking "i will get a call back.....saying they got it wrong.....that i have got the job" but it's all in my head....i waited 2 weeks for the call....and i got it. Satisfied? I don't know.
When i didn't have it, i thought to myself...am i really suited for this job? When i don't have it - part of me really really wants it, maybe it's cause we went through so much nowww and my interest has increased for coffee and for gloria jeans. I want to find a casual job before it is too late....but the question is - WHERE?
It's so hard to find...and when u find...it's so hard to get....i feel far.....

2 exams left....i cannot stress how much "fighting" i really need right now. Some ppl have jobs come to them...while some ppl have to go seek for it...and maybe never find.

Exam Week 1

Had my first exam today - felt...i dunno how to say, some questions...i feel like i am writing too much or off track...or just not sure @_@ i am not sure if that is with everyone or just me. I just hope i did good to pass and hopefully get more than 65%? =\ or else how am i going to be able to get into ibl :( sigh....how come it's so much harder than it looks?
I feel i have tried my hardest, i tried so hard...my arm was so so sore, but i didn't want to give up writing. It is over now, i should not dwell on it. Always feel like my performance lowers so much during exam time too! =[

1 down....3 to go...still so many to go. Really need to study too! Computer Programming next, such a hard subject, but i believe - not impossible! Just can't give up...i know a lot of ppl who had given up easily at the start...that motivates me to follow my belief that we can never give up!

And so the study continues.....(kind of sucks when everyone is already starting to finish exams T_T)
P.S i also hope i get the coffee job....i want to learn more!

My First Job?

Yes. That's correct. "My First Job?" With a question mark..because i am not sure if i will get it yet. Today, i was very nervous going to my trial period/session....but it was quite fun...learning new things :) if i would have to rate my performance, it would be 5/10...as i felt i made a lot of mistakes, couldnt think properly, felt cluless...etc >< gahhh but i would love to get better and get the chance to work there!
If so, i finally have a JOB!!!!!  Major life change hahaha x) but it's sth....i really want experience more than anything~~

Tomorrow is dear Vivien''s 19th Birthday :)
My wishes: all my family is always happy & healthy, that i can always try my best, that good things may come our way~, that the impossible is sometimes very possible!
hehe, im very excited because this yr im going out!! (altho only by myself...but major improvement from last yr in which i stayed home ALL DAY - im improving every yr right? ;)

laters (for the last time as a 18th year old) - no regret. never.

SWOTVAC - Semester 1

This week (well the week before) was SWOTVAC..and so it means to study without a teacher vacation, i don't think much of the study part happened. How come no matter how i do, i don't feel like i'm doing enough? Or that there isn't enough time to do everything?

Uni exams are worrying =x Thought no more worrying exams after VCE, but gosh am i wrong :( Why is uni so hard too? Wae? But oh well, it's just another hurdle to past right? It's hard not to feel discouraged when you look back to the times you haven't done well. It's hard to put the past behind us and keep trying harder.
First exam (business law) is on friday...hope i go well, open-book, but a lot to write and a lot of concepts to consider x_x harder than it looks!

To other news, i got a call for a trial period for work tmr afternoon! Kind of nervous =x will i do well...will i make many many mistakes...will i be able to get the job?
It will be good to get the job, because in these conditions, very hard to find a job ANYWHERE..spent about half a yr already and this was my first interview. Let's just let things flow and see where the direction takes me~~

Goodbye from a Vivien who cannot wait till holidays but is trying to strive and pull-through with the xams and hope i can pass WELL!